Chapter 3: Someone She Loved

The sky was filled with a thick red sunset that looked like a sea of blood. The man looked at it and felt his head pounding as he narrowed his eyes.

It seems strange. He thinks he’s finally gotten what he wanted for years, but he’s not happy about it at all.

Did he think it was a bad relationship that would end only when she died?

Lenard had been pressing his forehead hard to get rid of a headache. When he heard a voice, he turned his head in the direction of the sound.

“Are you okay?”

Lerian, the woman he loved, was the main character of his life.

When Lenard heard the worried voice, he quickly wiped away the worry that had been on his face for a moment.

Then he calmly answered as if nothing had happened.

“No… there’s no reason to be upset.”

It shouldn’t have been that bad.

He’s wondering what to do with that feeling that’s been bothering him for years now is finally gone.

But the awkwardness that no one knew about didn’t go away. It was hiding in a corner.

It was a very strange feeling.

Lenard gave a light shake of the head, as if to get rid of it, and looked at Lerian.

Even if he looked at it from all angles, his lover should never be hurt.

Her cheeks were very thin, which may have been because the poison she had been given hadn’t been detoxified yet.

As the saying goes, ‘time is the best medicine’, so the worry and stress on his face will slowly go away as time goes on.

It feels like an endless war that never ends.

They won the battle because she lost.

So, there is no longer any reason to be afraid of pain.

Even though the bitterness was still there when he thought about it, his heart felt lighter.

No longer is there any reason to be hard on their relationship.

He wasn’t happy with that simple sentence, but it was funny that only the tip of his smiling mouth was heavy.

“I love you.”

When she gave him a sweet kiss that seemed to gently caress his heart, he thought about how the corner of his mouth had sunk down a lot.

‘Yes, we no longer need to worry. It’s already over.’

He has fought for a long time to get back to the present.

No matter what it was, he didn’t want to think about anything more complicated than he does today.

Lenard wanted to have a moment of peace, even if it was only for a few seconds.

Since the biggest threat is gone, wouldn’t it be fine to take a break?

“I’ll just leave then.”

Lenard didn’t nod his head when he saw Lerian’s happy smile. Instead, he thought to himself something and opened his mouth,

“Queen—” 

Just as he was about to tell the Empress to be careful, he suddenly remembered what had happened earlier that day.

Lenard quickly changed his words so Lerian wouldn’t be confused.

“Since the Empress is dead, I can now make you Empress.”

At those words, Lerian’s cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink.

When he looked at her face, she seemed to have gotten over it easily, which made Lenard feel better on the inside.

It was a word he could say without thinking, but he didn’t want to bother her with more stories because she had been feeling guilty all day.

As soon as Lerian left the room, Lenard lost the smile he had been trying so hard to keep on his face.

“How could I have been so stupid—”

He covered his eyes with one hand and lifted his head upward.

‘I don’t know how the day can be so messed up.’

‘What the hell is that woman doing by grabbing my ankle and not letting go until she dies?’

No. She’s a woman who has passed away.

So she was no longer important.

There’s also nothing to worry about.

Lenard shook his head to get rid of all the thoughts in there.

He was confused because he had not yet gotten used to the strange situation.

Even though it had been less than half a day, the habit he had formed on his body was hard to break.

Yes, it’s just a habit.

So this too will be over soon.

Even if he looked at himself in that way, he didn’t know if it would help his troubled heart.

Rather, when he saw her die, it seemed like a boring moment, and now he was very upset.

Even so, he has no regrets.

She was a woman who didn’t have a liking for anyone from the start.

That doesn’t mean he ignored her, though.

She was up for the Empress position one way or another, and no matter what happened, she was also his wife.

No matter how much she loved him, the seat she sat on was too heavy and too high to be greedy or grumpy about.

The Duke of Hameln, a well-known noble who worked for the Empire, had only one daughter, Killianerisa.

When Lenard was still Crown Prince, she was the most powerful woman in the kingdom. Only his mother, who died young, was more powerful.

Of course, he didn’t get any ideas from it.

From the time he was born, he was chosen to be the emperor’s successor. Wealth and fame always followed him like a shadow, so he could not see another power in his eyes.

He was also just someone’s worker.

“Your Majesty, I already have a woman who promised me a future, but you’re making me marry someone else!”

The emperor looked at Lenard’s excitement with dry eyes and then quietly opened his mouth.

“Dear son, love alone can’t protect anything, but Princess Hamelin will give you the power to protect what you want.”

His father had always been kind to him, but his voice sounded strange to him for the first time.

There was a lot of opposition, but he couldn’t say anything and had to do what he wanted.

What surprised him was that Lerian agreed with a calm look on his face. Lenard thought she would be angry.

Lenard was very thankful that Lerian understood what was going on, and it made him feel even worse for his lover.

He didn’t forget about Killianerisa.

Because she was the Duke of Hameln’s daughter, and by marrying her, she gave him her support.

Of course, getting married wasn’t one of his goals, but he wasn’t perfect either.

At least he didn’t want to hear that she was an empress who nobody liked.

But until she died, she would not have known what was going on with them.

He might not have even tried to find out.

No, he might not have cared at all in the first place.

From the beginning to the end, she was a very stable person.

Not long had passed since Lenard had become king.

“Why do you make me feel so bad?”

The sad voice was full of anger.

Lenard narrowed his eyes as he looked up from the papers he was reading at Killianerisa, who had just walked into the office.

“What do you mean by coming out of nowhere and speaking like that?”

“Why are you talking like you don’t know anything? Hello, don’t you know why I’m doing this?”

Lenard had just become emperor, and every day was hard for him.

There are already a lot of complicated things that need to be taken care of, and when the lady who called him was screaming here, it felt like his head was pounding.

“I mean, I’m also your wife, so why do you always take care of her? Can’t Your Majesty see me?”

As the frustrated voice rang through the office again, Lenard asked while pressing his forehead against a throbbing feeling in his head.

“Who is she?”

“That girl… yes, the person you’d die for.”

Killianerisa’s voice was tense when she spoke. Lenard was shocked by this. He was trying to figure out what to say when she spoke again.

“I know where you were and what you were doing on the day you said you would come,” she said.

Lenard had a general idea of what she was saying.

It seems to have something to do with the date of the annexation.

Even though she might not believe it, he was about to go to Killianerisa’s house at the time.

Even if there wasn’t a lot of paperwork to process.

After he finished all the paperwork at dawn, he thought about going to see Killianerisa even though it was too late, but he decided it would be better not to go.

It was because he couldn’t wait for her until now, and he was tired and just wanted to go to sleep.

He didn’t mean to go to Lerlian’s place to sleep, but he didn’t realize it because he was dreaming, and he went there because he was interested in her.

He obviously felt sorry for Killianerisa.

But when he saw her come up to him and bothered him, that feeling went away.

‘If you are the Empress of the Empire, you should know that much, right?’

“It has nothing to do with you.”

At first, he thought he heard the sound of teeth being gritted.

“I am your wife.”

Lenard muttered something and looked at her without caring.

“I already know you’re my wife, so you don’t need to come here and tell me, but you seem to have forgotten that Lerian is also my wife.”

He gave Kilianerisa a sideways look.

She was looking at him with a face that looked like it was holding back so much anger.

How long will you keep talking about it like a child?

After she looked at him, he got a deeper crease in his forehead.

Silence fell for a while, and as time went on, Killianerisa’s emotions, which had been out of control, also began to calm down.

He was only left with the realization that he was tired.

He didn’t want to waste his time with such useless stories on a board full of papers to deal with.

“Let’s talk about that some other time.

Lenard had been looking at her for a while and was about to get back to work when Killianerisa yelled in anger.

“You can’t treat me like this. I am the Hameln family’s princess. But do you care about me at all? In the first place, aren’t we different? I’m the Empress and she’s a whore—”

“Shut up!”

Killianerisa, whose voice had been filled with anger as she spoke about how she felt, stopped for a moment. Raynard used this break to start letting out the anger he had been holding back.

“You shouldn’t have anything to do with that. No matter what you say, I love both of my wives the same way I always have. I will be fair to you, so you can leave knowing that.”

Lenard had never yelled at Killianerisa so much before, but he kept trying to think about Lerian.

He couldn’t just stand there and listen to the swearing.

Kilianerisa’s face showed that she was hurt by his harsh response, but for a moment, she muttered and smiled bitterly.

“You’ll be sorry you said that.”

Her white face with her red eyes stared at him fiercely.

Lenard’s eyes were filled with anger that he couldn’t comprehend.

But only for a moment. Soon, she turned her back on her and left the office. 

Lenard was able to quickly get over his momentary worry because of this.

But he didn’t realize it was his mistake until a few days later.

If Lenard had to pick one thing that made his day more fun and exciting, then it’s gonna be the day he spent with Lerian.

As usual, when Lerian was done with her work that day, Lenard stood in front of her room to see her.

“Ungh…”

He stopped for a moment with his hand on the doorknob when he heard a soft cry from inside. 

After each one, a familiar voice could be heard.

“Your Highness! Just tell His Majesty, it’s already been days!”

Lenard’s mind went black for a moment.

“No, His Majesty would be sad if he found out. Since he is coming soon, can you dress me up? I’m sorry.”

It sounded like a voice drowned in water.

Lenard opened the door without stopping to think.

For safety reasons, the doors of the imperial palace were not supposed to open right away.

But even though he didn’t use much force, the door, which had been shut tight, opened easier than usual.

Lenard thought he was anticipating something.

When Lenard looked into the room with the door open, he made a hard face.

He did it because he saw tears in Larian’s eyes.

Her beautiful silver hair was all messed up, and her cheeks looked like they had been hit.

Before his head could figure out what was going on, his stomach was on fire with anger.

The hand on the doorknob tightened its grip.

“What in the hell did they do?”

He didn’t get angry. Instead, he asked in a calm way. It was the end of the line.

But he was riding on a voice that was so cold.

Lerian looked surprised when Lenard showed up out of the blue, but instead of answering, she tried to avoid looking at him.

Lenard looked at the maid next to him when Lerian acted like that.

When the maid saw that the Emperor’s eyes looked like they were about to pop, she shook and looked at Lerian and Lenard with a restless face.

But for a moment, she clenched her fists and licked her lips several times while her voice shook.

Lenard waited for the answer, even though it didn’t come right away.

After a while, a voice that had been held back came out.

“Your Majesty, it’s the Empress.”

Lenard was not as shocked as he thought he was, even though he knew the person who did it.

Maybe it was partly because he guessed?

He wasn’t shocked, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t angry.

Lenard felt a rush of energy inside of him. But he kept going until the end.

He looked at Lerian, who was scared and kept to herself.

“Since when?”

From what he had heard earlier through the door, this wouldn’t have been the first time.

He looked at Lerian to see if he could find an answer.

But Lerian chose to keep quiet this time.

What is that woman talking about?

His eyes went back to the maid.

At the second look, she didn’t think twice about letting out.

“Today is the fifth day. She just barged in the room without saying anything…”

The maid said her words out loud.

Lenard looked at her tightly closed fists for a moment and then sighed.

“Five days?!”

He didn’t say anything, but then he remembered something and his eyes grew wide.

It was because he remembered the time he argued with her a long time ago. 

He had been trying to hold back his anger, but in the end, it got so bad that he couldn’t take it any longer.

When Lerian saw Lenard’s eyes, she ran up to him quickly and shook her head. 

Then, with his still-tired, quiet voice, she calmed him down.

“Don’t fight the Empress because of me. I’m fine.”

A small, warm hand came down and gently touched his hand, as if to caress him.

Lenard really felt bad for the woman who was worried about him even though her cheeks were still swollen.

Lenard looked sad at Lerian, whose head was slowly dropping.

Then, when he looked at Lerian, who had raised her head, her eyes filled with tears, and they ran down her cheeks.

Lenard was shocked to see those tears.

Seeing Larian’s tears, he felt as if something inside of him was falling apart.

It felt like someone was squeezing his neck from the inside.

He was furious.

He couldn’t think straight because my feelings were so strong.

So, he didn’t even notice that Lerian’s lips had been painted to look like they were smiling.

He was too scared to even try to capture the feelings that rushed through him.

How could she tell him to be patient when everything is going wrong?

How come he can’t argue with Killinerisa?

Lenard kept asking questions.

But in fact it was foolish.

Because he already knew the answer to that question.

Still, he kept repeating the question like an idiot.

Without even having time to think that he was pathetic, who could not do anything to his lover’s chagrin, he continued.

However, as if ridiculing him, the answers to questions that could not be pushed out any longer filled his mind.

‘Duke Hameln will help you become the Emperor!’

It was something he didn’t want. But that didn’t matter.

 As a result, it was an undeniable fact that he was helped by Princess Hameln.

He has not forgotten that grace, but now, he is the emperor.

He couldn’t live forever looking into their eyes.

At the very least, if the emperor who will lead the country, shouldn’t he be able to judge right and wrong on his own?

He was not an idiot and could judge what was just and what was wrong.

But it might have been better not to make that judgment.

The ideal and reality were different, and he was living in reality.

In conclusion, there was nothing he could do now.

He looked at Lerian, who was trembling softly, holding her hand with his confused eyes.

He licked his lips a few times.

“Do you… Do you really want that?”

Lenard himself did not know what he meant when he said that.

Lerian stared at him for a moment with an unfamiliar eye, then smiled sadly.

“Yes.”

A strange feeling arose in response.

The thought that he should not go over it just because she said this, and the thought that it is an ambiguous situation for himself to go further even though she wants this.

But at the same time, he felt fortunate.

However, there was one thing that Lenard had misunderstood.

He did not know at the time that what he had done was not to close the case, but only to postpone it. And the thing that was put off will eventually explode someday.

The incident occurred several days after that.

Killianerisa went further and further.

Seeing the big and small scars that couldn’t be covered by makeup anymore, Lenard thought that the situation could not be delayed any longer.

“Killianerisa!”

With a high pitch, the door opened violently and crashed against the wall.

Because of that, all the eyes of those in the room turned to Raynard.

At the same time, Kilianerisa, who had been getting her nails done by the maids, couldn’t see his angry face, or that Lenard had come to see her because of something bad, just a smile on her lips was all that mattered.

“Your—”

But before her words could continue, Lenard cut her words and said:

“Even though I said that, why don’t you understand it! Did you think that I was just watching your arrogant behavior or that it was because you didn’t know what you did? This is my last warning. I won’t stand still! Do you understand?”

Lenard, who spit out words with a rapid-fire cannon in an instant, let out a rough breath and stared at her coldly, wondering if he’s too full of adrenaline, or if he was out of breath.

Kilianerisa looked at him, who suddenly came up to her and uttered only what he had to say.

Then, she immediately dropped the smile that had hung on her lips.

Seeing such a shocked face, Lenard turned his back on her, thinking that this was all he had to do.

At that moment, her voice, which had been silent all along, came out.

“Is that all you have to say to me? Aren’t you curious as to why I did that?”

There was moisture between the Empress’s voice that seemed to suppress something.

It seemed to give him a headache as it strangely overlapped with the situation he had once experienced.

He answered in a monotonous tone without turning his head.

“The reason is obvious. Isn’t it because of jealousy?”

A cold, emotionless voice pierced her chest like a dagger.

Killianerisa bit her lip tightly and continued to speak, as if pressing something.

“It may sound like petty jealousy to you, Your Majesty. But that’s my life. How can I prove myself to you, hmm?”

His heart could be weakened by the voice of begging that felt even earnestly, but he never looked back.

As if he had promised not to look back no matter what.

“Looking at the past, I don’t think that will ever happen again.”

Lenard answered coldly and walked out of the room with stride as it was.

Looking at his back, Kilianerisa sat down on the floor with a sad smile.

She was sobbing and laughing at the same time.

The sound ran out of the room with the door wide open and reached Lenard’s ears.

He frowned at the rush of discomfort.

After all the years she spent on being a bad person and looking at herself like she’s the victim.

His steps away from the room got faster.

Would it have been any different if Killianerisa had heeded his warning back then?

Yeah, maybe she didn’t even die.

But there was no stopping her from destroying them.

No, she acted as if she were rather arrogant.

And it only got worse day by day.

Lenard would visit her every now and then to warn her, but there really wasn’t anything more Lenard could do there.

No matter what she did or what the circumstances were, externally, she was the Empress of the Empire and the only daughter of Duke Hameln.

When Killianerisa gets into an accident, Lenard visits her and pours cruel words on him several times.

By then, even Lenard couldn’t have known.

The fact that she caused an accident while wreaking havoc on the people around her was just to meet him in the end.

Realizing that, Lenard stopped visiting her place.

He thought she was a crazy woman.

The only thing she knows how to do is to be greedy that is close to coercion, and to spread evil around him by spreading outrageous sophistry.

It was only natural that he couldn’t be attached to her.

‘Why am I thinking like this even now?’

A bitter smile hung on Lenard’s lips as he recalled the past, which could not be called a good memory even with empty words.

In retrospect, it’s just useless memories that will only give him a headache. 

Nevertheless, the act of reflecting on the past continued, as if she was showing him regret.

—

Just like rumors, no matter how much people covered their ears and eyes, they would leak out.

As time passed, rumors spread that the emperor was not looking for the empress.

Her father, Duke Hameln, came to visit Lenard. Lenard was nervous at his appearance, but at the same time relieved.

Duke Hameln was as greedy as his daughter.

By analogy, they were close to a stag beetle.

It was rather strange that he, who was obsessed with honor more than anyone else, had not come to visit, so it was fortunate for him that he came earlier than expected.

He met him with his own resolve. “There are a lot of rumors about my daughter these days.”

The first sentence that came out of his mouth was the kind he expected. Lenard looked at him for a moment.

The color reminiscent of someone and the expressionless expression that seems to resemble him at first glance.

And a strange face that he doesn’t know what he’s thinking.

Although the situation was likely enough to make him angry, he did not show a sign of expression.

It was the moment he was about to open his mouth, suppressing the sensation of a glimpse of it.

“Of course I know it. My daughter is a hard nut to love.”

Lenard’s mouth, which had been slightly opened at the next words, closed again.

‘Is he being sarcastic?’

Lenard looked at his expression, rolling his head to understand his intentions.

He was laughing out loud, as if exchanging a light joke.

At that, Lenard became curious.

It was because it was clear that it would be a loss for him to open the introduction like this.

Lenard didn’t know what Killianerisa had to do with her father.

There were no rumors in particular, because he has shown the image of a father who respects his daughter, at least in public.

However, the words that just came out had a strange feeling to come out of the mouth of her own father.

Whether or not he knew Lenard’s complicated feelings, he continued as if lamenting.

“We have been together since the day she was born, so of course, I know her well. She’s a difficult child to love. And I fully understand Your Majesty’s reluctance to love her…”

He paused for a moment as if to catch his breath. Lenard said he’s getting to the point now, and waited a bit nervously for the next words.

“I don’t want much… I just want our family to be at ease.”

The answer that Lenard heard was that it was futile and disrespectful to be nervous.

For a moment, he doubted his ears. Knowing that it couldn’t be, he asked involuntarily.

“Is that really all you want?”

“Yes. I won’t ask for anything more than that.”

He had a face of genuine satisfaction.

Lenard, on the other hand, was dazed. He knows very well that this person is not like that.

It was clear that something was going on.

Lenard was vigilant to the end, but he didn’t ask for anything else until the moment he got up.

“Believing that Your Majesty was well aware of the old man’s words, I will withdraw my convictions.”

At first glance, Lenard’s expression was dismayed.

Apparently, she was a disposable child.

As he greeted him, he considered all his moves. But this is far from what he expected.

No, hoping that it would be resolved easily was close to his vain delusion.

But what turned out to be a reality was a vain delusion. He leaned back on the chair, closed his eyes, and tried to organize his thoughts.

What he wants is that her tarnished honor does not harm the family.

Even if he didn’t mention it, it was a duty he had to follow, of course, as he had been helped by him.

However, the reason the rumors spread so far was because she wanted her to realize something through the rumors.

Of course, nothing changed.

‘So I don’t have to worry about her anymore?’

It’s hard to judge by just such a piecemeal thing, but one of the many shackles holding him back felt a little loose.

Maybe it’s because he’s been paying a lot of attention to what he’s been doing with her.

Suddenly, an innocent laugh erupted.

Because the current situation is pleasant, or because he thinks that it is true that they are just the same thing that takes care of each other’s interests.

But at the same time, it seemed that he had a strange sympathy.

But it didn’t last long.

Her actions were enough to rob him of his shallow sympathy.

“How long will it be?”

Lenard signed with a tired face, and Kilianerisa only replied with a stern answer. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Seeing a woman with a face that she didn’t really know anything was like talking to a wall.

Unknowingly, he tried to scream in frustration.

At that moment, he remembered a conversation I had with Duke Hameln one day. When those indifferent words came to mind, his slightly opened mouth closed again.

‘I thought I didn’t really care, but, oddly enough, did it bother me?

I couldn’t treat her as coldly as I used to. It was really funny.’

It was nothing more or less than petty sympathy, but his actions had unexpected results.

Her viciousness, which had been considered severe for a while, was less than before.

Of course, she may have done it herself, but it was certainly fortunate.

Her misdeeds were not completely silenced, but Lenard had a foreboding that what he had to say here would only have a negative effect.

He was careful not to run into her by chance, and if he did, he wouldn’t bruise her like before.

At first, he was anxious, as if he had a leash-free tiger by his side, but as the tiger stopped showing much interest in him, he gradually got used to it.

Her misdeeds did not increase or decrease any longer, and such a dangerous relationship continued for several years.

Of course, there were occasional rumors that she had committed evil deeds, but she never crossed a certain line, and it was certain that she would continue to do so.

Perhaps Lenard was implicitly trusting her. ‘I mean, she’s not that bad.’

But what is wrong?

Has she been complacent with a situation that she can’t solve and with minor violence?

Or did he let his lover’s worries go away as usual?

As usual, Lenard was handling the paperwork and dropped the pen he was holding at the news the aide had brought.

Before the pen that had escaped from his hand fell to the floor, he sprinted out of his seat, forgetting the sieve he had to protect as an emperor.

As if possessed by something, he ran to somewhere with a confused face.

The background was changing rapidly, but the words of the aide continued to ring in his ears like the flaps of a butterfly’s wings.

The news he had heard was that Lerlian had passed away after drinking the tea that Killianerisa had given her.

First he thought of Lerian’s face, then the baby in her womb.

His hair turned white as if someone had spread white paint on his head.

He couldn’t even think properly, as if he had become an idiot. He just ran without even realizing where he was going, he ran with his instinct.

Time seemed to have stopped except for him. It didn’t feel that real.

The place where he, who had been running without knowing that he was tired, stopped in front of Lerian’s residence.

In front of her residence was guarded by soldiers.

But what if there was no one who actually saved her.

Of course, even knowing that it was a situation that could not be protected, he could not think properly as if his reason had been paralyzed.

All he could do was shout at the soldiers before venting his anger on someone with his wrong judgment. Lenard took a deep breath and said harshly.

“Everyone, back away.” The soldiers looked at each other as if they did not know what to do, and then quickly moved to their seats.

As they disappeared, the place became silent as if the sound had disappeared.

Only the sound of a pounding heartbeat cut through the silence and dominated his ears.

Lenard listened silently to the sound and stared at the tightly closed door.

Feeling about to burst, he wandered here and there without being able to express his anger, and eventually came out through the door of implied doubt.

Why?

Why?

Why?

What caused this to happen?

Who caused it?

For what reason it happened?

He continued to question, as if he did not know all the answers he already knew. Then he put his hand on the doorknob roughly.

The cold touch in his hand woke him up late.

It was as if there were no living beings around.

Really, it was quiet as if there were no living beings.

When he realized that, he was terrified.

He couldn’t even open the door.

He needs to open the door and find out if she is okay, and he has to check with his own eyes if the child in her belly is okay…

He ran frantically to find out, but he didn’t have the courage to open the door and face her.

His hands were shaking as if he had tremors.

He couldn’t even take a single step.

If he could, he wanted to run away like this.

Lenard, who had thought about it that far, came to his senses later and shook his head.

Then he repeated his mantra.

Let’s calm down. It will be fine.

As he was about to give strength to the doorknob, suppressing the anxiety and fear that filled his throat, a thin and faint cry leaked out of the room.

“Ugh Your Highness! There are many ways to deal with the empress, but why did you make a rumor that there’s a child and deceived His Majesty? You drank it even though you knew that there’s poison in there!”

Lenard was shocked as if he had been hit hard in the head by the shocking ending that came out with the voice of a howling maid. 

The strength of his hand that was resting on the doorknob was fading away. 

He blinked blankly.

‘What? Was the accident planned? But the situation became complicated and there’s even a child that doesn’t exist?’

Why?

The answer came quickly. 

It was such a simple answer.

To trap Killianerisa.

[Anyone who harms the imperial grandchild cannot escape the death penalty.]

It was a law that has been in force since the reign of the Respontian Emperor.

If the child in the womb died because of the tea that Killianerisa gave to her, the murderer of the imperial grandson would be executed.

But if what the handmaiden just said is true, there was no child from the beginning.

If all of that turns out to be true, it will be Lerian, not Killianerisa, who will be punished.

He swallowed dry saliva.

Cold sweat glided down his forehead.

There were only two options in front of him.

He had to cover up his lover’s wrongdoings and wait for the death of Killianerisa, or punish Lerian as a fair emperor.

Since the child did not exist in the first place, she would not be executed, but the crime of attempting to deceive the empire and frame the empress by creating an imperial descendant that did not exist was never light.

She can’t avoid being deposed.

If we were to cover only right and wrong, it was Lerian who was at fault.

He clenched his fist.

Nothing could be decided easily.

If possible, he wanted to pass the blame on to someone else.

He didn’t want to punish the one he loved with his own hands, nor did he want to be a coward who sacrificed the innocent to protect his lover.

But the worries were short-lived.

Soon after, someone’s face appeared. A woman who has always sacrificed everything for him.

He knows what she did.

It was a treason against the empire.

But, even then, at this moment, he missed her so much.

When he sees her unharmed face, he thinks his confused mind will be calmed a little.

No matter what she did, she was his lover and one he wanted to protect.

It didn’t change that much.

He was an emperor, but at the same time someone’s husband.

Lenard, having made up his mind, placed his hand on the doorknob again.

And with strength, he opened the door. No, it was open.

However, it was quite difficult to open the tightly closed door with one hand.

At the same time, the past several years ago flashed in his mind, overlapping with the present situation.

The difference was that the door slid open even though he didn’t apply much force at that time.

As if it were already open.

His heart sank.

The last piece of the puzzle, which had been wandering in the air without interlocking, finally found its place.

However, the completed puzzle was not beautiful at all.

The moment that didn’t fit is so beautiful that it feels rather beautiful.

His head was numb.

No, maybe he doesn’t want to keep thinking.

He didn’t want to know the truth anymore.

The more he got to know the truth, the more he was getting farther and farther from what he wanted.

However, the door that could not overcome his power was slowly opening. Can’t get it back already. Behind the open door, a pale-faced woman with her eyes closed as if dead.

Lenard moaned with his mouth slightly open.

‘Lerian…’

He had no thoughts as if his hair was being encroached on white.

He stared blankly at Lerian, then took a step forward.

In fact, maybe he already knew.

Why did she do this? Why did it have to be like this?

And he took another step.

It was then that he felt guilt.

It was he who stood by until the situation became like this. It was he who drove her to the edge of the cliff, and who made her this way.

“Your… Your Majesty?”

At first glance, the maid’s cry passed his ears, but Lenard continued walking as if he had not heard it, and finally approached her.

The skin, with the makeup removed, was as pale as a corpse.

The maid behind him covered her mouth with a contemplative face.

It’s obviously because she remembered what she said a while ago.

But Lenard couldn’t afford to care.

From the moment he entered the room until now, his gaze was fixed on the line, that is, Lerian.

Sadness came rushing in.

He looked at her with a pathetic face, then gently placed his hand on her cheek.

And he was startled by the cold body temperature he felt in his hands.

But for a moment, the thin sound of breathing passed his ear, and he was finally relieved.

Lenard was staring at Lerian with a sad gaze, and the maid asked with a bewildered voice.

“Your… Highness…”

“Is Lerian… alright?”

An urgent voice overshadowed the maid’s words. It was an impulsive word.

The maid stared at Lenard without a word.

He, who had grown up as an emperor, had a mysterious expression with so many emotions intertwined that he could not read it easily.

As the silence grew longer, Lenard became more anxious that the maid might have noticed something.

However, a light relief flashed on his face at the answer that fell quickly.

“Ah, yes… Fortunately, he said there was no life-threatening problem.”

It was fortunate. really.

As reason gradually returned, he hardened his face, capturing his expression a little more.

“Then how about the child…”

He knew the answer to follow. Since the child did not exist, of course it would be correct to say that it does not exist. However, he was worried that the maid might notice his confused mind.

The maid’s expression was still subtle.

At first glance, it seemed that he was worried about Lerian, but if there seems to be no depth as if he was worried about the death of a missing child, would that be his illusion?

A strange feeling of incongruity struck him once.

But soon the maid’s mouth opened and a hoarse voice leaked out, and at the same time, he dismissed the words he had said as an illusion.

“That—”

Her behavior was an unmistakable denial of his question.

There was no need to ask any more. He felt as if all the strength in his body was gone.

Hearing such a definite answer to a subject who knew the truth, he could not help but feel disappointed.

He fixed his helpless gaze on Lerian again.

“I see…”

A murmur like lamentation leaked out.

He looked intently at Larian’s emaciated face.

Was she this thin?

Things he couldn’t see well because she was covered with makeup, now he can see them. How much suffering…

A bitter taste lingered in his mouth.

He looked at her silently for a moment, and then left the place.

He went back to his office and was still undecided on how to conclude the situation.

It was clear that it was Lerian’s fault, but he couldn’t blame Lerian alone.

Was it not Kilianerisa who created such a situation in the first place?

But why should she be punished? Then, suddenly, a question came to mind.

Did Kilianerisa know that the tea she had given her was poisoned?

If she had known, it must have been her fault for giving her the poison tea even knowingly.

Lenard wanted to somehow find her fault.

Because he knew that only then would his lover’s sins be lightened.

So he had to know the truth.

Although the truths he learned are leading him to more and more catastrophe, he denied the truths he didn’t want.

Because what he wanted had to be the truth.

Or maybe he wanted to believe that.

Putting down the documents he was looking at, he immediately went to see Kilianerisa.

Unlike her usual time in her luxury, she sat in her seat quite modestly.

At first glance, it seemed like she was waiting. Heck, she did something like that, and it was only natural to expect that he would come to any sane person.

Lenard stared at her for a moment, then opened her mouth.

“Did you really give Lerian the poisoned tea?”

It had an unusually calm tone.

Killianerisa looked at him with curious eyes.

Lenard was uneasy, not knowing what she meant.

The moment the word “no” comes out of her mouth, he can’t even take it out and gamble.

Because he has to throw the one he loves with his hands.

So he waited for the words that would lead to a nervous feeling.

Soon her mouth opened. She replied with a stern tone.

“Yes, it was.”

He asked again in a tone that was not as plain as he was answering the question of trying to kill someone.

“Did you know that the tea was poisoned?”

But he couldn’t hide the slight anger in his voice.

It was like an active volcano that was about to explode.

Killianerisa looked at him excitedly and sang like a song.

“If I said I didn’t know, would anything change?”

The words were meaningful, but her attitude was still.

Looking back, Kilianerisa at this time was rather different from usual.

There was a seriousness behind her voice that had lost the playful cuteness that he considered an abomination.

That was the first time he knew that she could have such a voice.

Why are you saying that?

Lenard was terrified of her laid-back look. 

Please please. Even once is fine, so become a real villain.

His selfish heart surged.

Come to think of it, he was always selfish with her, and so was she.

Suddenly, a dark smile appeared on the lips of Killianerisa.

“What do you see that way? Did you expect anything like that? I hope it’s not like that.”

It seemed like she was back to her usual now.

He had no idea that these provocative words and actions would feel so welcome.

Because what she said was no less than admitting that she had passed a poisoned tea.

Lenard felt both anger and joy at the same time.

At the thought that he could pour out his anger on her alone, that his lover could be with him forever.

He shouted. He tried to hide it, but the voice that came out of his mouth was unmistakably joyous.

“The child in Lerlian’s belly has died. But how can you be so shameless? You are also a woman. How can you be so evil?”

As if there was a child who did not exist, there was a seething anger in his voice.

As if to release all the emotions that had made hi, anxious in the past with anger.

It was always the responsibility of Killianerisa to receive such anger.

As always, she smiled brightly as she replied.

“Good for you. The fact that her child was dead.”

It was a face of genuine regret.

At that, Lenard seemed to burst out of the resentment that had been inside him at once.

Unable to bear it any longer, he strode over to her and raised his hand high.

Killianerisa’s gaze turned to his fingertips.

But there was no sign of fear.

She just stared at his fingertips with a terribly indifferent look he had never seen before, as if waiting for him to slap her on the cheek.

Seeing that, Lenard stopped the hand he had raised again.

It was because he remembered that she was a woman who would soon die because of Lerian’s plan, even if he didn’t treat her so emotionally.

Perhaps he can show last sympathy and guilt.

He lowered the hand he was about to hit at any moment and turned around.

“You look really weird today.”

At that, Lenard’s footsteps stopped for a moment.

Strange, a bitter smile crept across Lenard’s lips.

She wasn’t the only strange thing. So did he. But Lenard didn’t dare to say that.

Because he wasn’t sure what he’d say if I talked to her any longer.

Lenard resumed his paused pace.

He was, after all, just a woman’s man.

—

What a selfish person

In the past that he remembered after her death, he was an absurdly biased person.

No matter how much he pretended to be a saint, it was nothing more than acting.

Why the hell did she make that face in the end?

She was a very strange woman, but it was an undeniable fact that her life was ruined by entanglement with him.

Even the last sympathy was withdrawn when it brought back memories of his lover.

Regardless, the guilt still weighed heavily on his heart, but he did not regret the decision he made.

Because even if time goes back in time, he won’t change the choice he made.

Therefore, remaining a selfish person until the end was the last thing he could do.