Can't Come Back - Chapter 32

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As Berlia’s maid, she hung out with Dean on purpose to try to get him to fall in love with her.

– Are you Berlia’s maidservant?

– Yes, Your Grace. My name is Riley.

– Stay with me tonight.

And Dean liked her a lot more than she thought he would.

“The first step is to let the Duke know about this.”

Riley ran to Dean because she thought she had done what she had set out to do. Dean, who has been with Berlia for 3 years but hasn’t had a child with her yet, would be happy to hear this. If it was a son, he might even take over as Duke.

“Your Grace, Your Grace.”

In Dean’s room, he was reading a book. In Keindell, he didn’t do much. Someone else handled Keindell on his behalf.

Dean put down the book he was reading and looked at Riley, who was calling him in a fun way.

“What’s wrong, Riley?”

“Take a look!”

A clear bottle was in Riley’s hand. A green liquid was in the bottle.

“…What is it?”

Dean had no idea what was in the bottle.

“It’s a potion that proves you’re pregnant. I’m carrying your child, Your Grace! I just checked, and the liquid has turned green!”

Riley was as happy as a little kid. When Dean heard what Riley said, he got a big smile on his face.

“Really?”

Dean secretly feared that he might not be able to have children. He was happy to have a child, but he was even happier to have shown that he wasn’t sterile.

‘So Berlia wasn’t able to have children, not me. If not because of my brother, she wouldn’t be worth anything.’

Dean thought Riley was even more beautiful than the other girls. Up until now, he had given her jewelry, clothes, and other things, but it seemed like he could give her even more today.

“What are you looking for?”

With a kind smile, Dean patted Riley’s head.

“I’d like it to be a son very much.”

No one could take over the House Hildayden. As things stood, Cain’s child would be the heir if he got married and had a kid. Even more likely if they knew for sure that Berlia couldn’t have children. Dean had a huge smile on his face when he thought about his child becoming the heir.

“Can I, really, have this child?”

Riley claimed to be scared and asked Dean if she might not be able to have the child. This was a way for her to hide what she really wanted.

“Of course. What do you mean?”

“I’m just a maid. I’m not even the Duke’s concubine, let alone his wife, so I thought I might not be able to have this child.”

Dean didn’t know what was going through her mind, so he shook his head as if that was nonsense.

“What are you talking about? It’s my child, so you have to bring it into the world.”

“So, what will happen to my work when I go back to the mansion? I’m so afraid I might lose the child while I’m at work.”

Riley was getting Dean to tell her what she wanted to know. She wanted to quit her job as a maid first and foremost.

“Riley, don’t worry about that. You won’t have to do any work as a maid. Instead, I’ll give you your own maid.”

“Really?!”

Riley was beyond happy. Even though she didn’t have a drop of work at Keindell, it was a different story when she had a maid. Riley asked him in an optimistic way.

“So, am I allowed to marry you?”

“When we go back to the Hildayden Duchy, I’ll make you my concubine for sure. I promise.”

The baby would be born as long as there were no big problems. It looked like her future was getting pinker and pinker.

* * * 

Thud.

Berlia hit the ground. She couldn’t believe what she saw in front of her. The solution had turned green.

It means that she’s pregnant. She was carrying a child. She had been waiting for this child for three years, but Berlia’s pregnancy was not a gift now.

‘Whose… who’s kid is it…?’

Could it belong to Cain or Dean? She wasn’t sure who the child’s father was. Berlia’s mind went blank. She felt like cold water had been thrown on her from head to toe. Strength left her legs. She was too weak to stand up.

‘How do I tell Cain about this? I can’t tell him at all!’

What if Dean was the father?

How would Cain feel? He loved her very much, but she was carrying someone else’s child, his own brother’s. Even though he liked that she was his brother’s wife, he didn’t want them to have a child.

Also, Berlia did not want to have Dean’s child and raise it while she loved Cain. She thought it would be wrong to do that to Cain.

But what if Cain was the father?

In a month, Dean, her husband, would come back. How will he feel when he finds out that she is pregnant? If he didn’t know about Cain, he would probably think the child is his own.

But what if the child looks like Cain when it is born? Even though they were brothers, it was clear that they looked different. Dean wasn’t so dumb that he wouldn’t know his own kid.

‘Whoever the child is, I can’t have this child.’

Berlia’s hands were shaking as she picked up the bottle of reagent. First, she had to hide this from everyone.

“Ahh!”

Clang-

Her grip slipped because she was so shocked. Because of this, the bottle she was holding fell and broke on the floor. The green chemical went all over the floor.

‘Ah, no. If anyone shows up now…!’

It would be a disaster if someone heard the sound of the bottle breaking and came to see what was going on. Berlia held her breath and started wiping the floor quickly.

“Ouch.”

As she quickly cleaned up the broken pieces of the bottle and wiped away the green reagent, she cut her finger on a piece of the bottle. Her finger was leaking a small amount of red blood.

She was scared. 

“…What do I do…?”

She was scared that someone would find out what she was hiding.

‘Should I keep the child…?’

She didn’t like having a baby, even though she had wanted one for a long time. Now that she had one, she didn’t like it.

Thump, Thump, Thump, Thump. Berlia kept hitting her stomach with her hands as tears ran down her face. She knew she shouldn’t do this, but she just couldn’t stop. She wanted the baby to go away as soon as possible.

‘Neither Cain nor my husband can be the father. What should I do? I don’t know. What, what should I do?’

She didn’t know how things got to this point.

“Am I being punished in the end?”

She liked Cain, but she chose to marry Dean. Even though she was married to Dean, she got connected with Cain. Was this her punishment for everything she had done wrong? Berlia was afraid that her growing belly would slowly give her away.

‘Everyone will notice as time goes on. Before that, I need to find a way to get rid of this child…’

She got up quickly from where she was sitting. She quickly picked up the glass bottles and chemicals that were spread on the floor.

Thud, thud, thud, thud.

Then, she opened the door and ran down the hall like she was crazy.

“Haah, haah.”

She was out of breath from running so fast. Berlia went to the library in the house. Even though Dean and Cain had their own libraries, different books were kept here.

The door opened with a creak. Berlia went in and started looking through the books.

‘I’m sure I can find something. Something….’

Rustle- Rustle-

She looked through the books quickly to see if there was any sign that could help her get rid of the child in a sneaky way. It could be anything. She looked through a lot of books but didn’t find anything helpful. All she could find was a story about a noblewoman whose child died when she fell down the stairs.

‘…I’m scared, so scared….’

Berlia went into the library and sat down, shaking. She didn’t know how to get out of the trouble she was in. She was scared that someone might figure out her secret.

—

It was the next day. Berlia’s face was pale because she wasn’t getting enough sleep because of her fears. Her face was cloudy from being tired. The maid, Betty, was worried when she saw that she looked different than normal.

“Um, my lady, you look tired today. Is there something wrong…?”

“No!”

Betty was surprised when Berlia shouted out of the blue, so she took a few steps back.

“I’m, I’m sorry, I apologize.”

Betty begged her mistress for forgiveness, but she didn’t even know what she was sorry for. When Berlia saw Betty’s scared face, she knew she had overreacted.

“…It doesn’t matter, Betty. It’s okay.”

‘What’s going on with me? Why do I feel this way all of a sudden?’

Even though she said it was nothing and that everything was fine, Betty was still clearly upset. Berlia thought she was too nervous. She wanted to be alone until she could figure out how to get out of the situation she was in.

“I’m sorry, Betty. I don’t feel good today. I want to be alone. Could you leave for a while?”

“…Yes, understood.”

She went out of Berlia’s room. Betty could tell right away that her mistress was not feeling well today. But since she had started working for her, she had never seen her act this sensitively, so her behavior today was strange.

‘…Is she menstruating?’

She knew that some women get moody when they have their period. Betty thought that this might be what Berlia was going through. She was also sure because she hadn’t heard of Berlia getting her period since she began working for her.

“So she won’t eat, huh? What should I do?”

Betty didn’t know if she should tell her lady that food was ready or not. She thought Berlia would be mad all day long. She did not want to go back into Berlia’s room. As Betty went down to the first floor, she thought about this.

“Betty, is my sister-in-law still in her room?”

Cain was coming up the stairs when she ran into him.

“Oh, yes, yes! The lady hasn’t left her room yet.”

Betty bowed to him as a way to say hello and then answered his question.

“I heard that the meal is almost ready. Can you tell my sister-in-law to come to the dining room?”

“Well, I suppose…”

“Is there something wrong?”

Betty is afraid of what Cain might do when she doesn’t answer right away.

“She just seems a little under the weather, so I think she might not eat.”

“If she doesn’t feel well, she needs to eat more. I’ll go to her. You can now rest.”

“…Yes, sir.”

Betty left the scene quickly. That she didn’t have to go back into Lady Berlia’s room was a relief.