I’m in Trouble Because The Emperor Thinks My Time is Limited - Chapter 12

Utilia, Russell, Pahn, and Lindel were the top members of the Imperial Guard, and they were close friends who had gone through many life-threatening situations together. Whenever there was something sad, they cried together, and whenever there was something joyful, they celebrated more than anyone else. That’s why they were bound by the name of friendship.

For that reason, the three of them, excluding Lindel, didn’t want to believe the current situation. After leaving the emperor’s bedroom, the three knights collapsed onto the floor as soon as the heavy door shut behind them. The guards standing by the door didn’t try to stop them; instead, they respectfully turned their heads away, granting them privacy.

“…She smiled.”

Utilia, who had been joking and laughing in front of Lindel the entire time, now had a hardened expression. Her pink eyes remained fixed on the floor, but her mind was filled with the image of her dear friend’s face. She couldn’t forget Lindel’s usual grumpy smile.

“How could she smile in a situation like that?”

Her gloomy voice trembled with emptiness, and Russell couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. He lay on the floor, biting his arm to muffle his sobs. It was a pitiful sight. Pahn, who was next to him, couldn’t bring himself to stop his friend. Instead, he hugged Russell’s trembling back.

Pahn’s face was already soaked with tears as well.

“We should have never believed her when she said she was fine!”

Pahn wiped his endlessly flowing tears roughly and shouted in frustration. The three of them had gone to great lengths to meet Lindel. However, because she was confined to the northern palace by the emperor, they could never see her. They had begged Captain Schrein and asked every acquaintance they knew, but they still couldn’t meet Lindel.

Meanwhile, the insensitive voices of others tormented them.

Sacrifice. Love. The achievements Lindel had accomplished were praised as great. People exalted Lindel, calling her amazing, but at the same time, they assumed her death was inevitable.

That’s why they called her great. They talked recklessly about how beautiful it was for her to sacrifice herself, risking death.

Each of those thoughtless words left deep scars on the hearts of the three friends. They struggled in despair every day, and just when they were about to give up, they were finally granted permission to meet Lindel.

“Lindel’s condition isn’t good, so try not to show it.”

But the situation was grim. The person who had guided them to Lindel’s room delivered the message in a somber voice, as if preparing them for the worst. It was as though they were being given a death sentence, and they didn’t want to believe it.

However, when they opened the door and saw Lindel, who looked like part of a faded painting, they had to accept it.

“I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

At some point, Lindel had started making mistakes she normally wouldn’t. When they asked her if something was wrong, she would shake her head with a flustered expression. At the time, they brushed it off as nothing serious.

Then she began to carry injuries. Her palm was torn from dropping her sword, and she staggered from attacks she used to dodge easily. Her muscles had withered, leaving her arms and legs bruised at the slightest touch.

“Is something wrong?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.”

Even when she looked exhausted, they assumed it was just fatigue.

But when they saw the bloodstains on her sleeves and the stains on her bed that hadn’t been cleaned up, they finally realized something was terribly wrong.

“Be honest with us, Lindel. Are you really okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m really fine, so don’t worry.”

They had sensed it, even back then—that Lindel wasn’t fine. But they intentionally ignored all the signs because they were too afraid of what might happen if they acknowledged the truth.

Now, with the cruel reality staring them in the face, there was no more room for denial.

“What will we do if Lindel dies?”

“Don’t say something so stupid, Russell!”

Utilia snapped sharply at Russell’s tearful voice. Her clenched fists trembled from fear, but she didn’t seem to notice. Her tear-filled eyes glared at Russell.

“That will never happen.”

Her voice shook as more tears welled up.

“It’s okay.”

Even at this moment, Utilia couldn’t bring herself to resent the kind friend who always said it was okay. Instead, she resented herself.

Her sobs, which she had been holding back, finally broke free.

***

“Is something going on outside?”

As Luna opened the door to fetch water, a loud wailing sound could be heard.

Startled by the noise, Luna quickly shut the door. The moment the door closed, the sound was cut off by the barrier spell placed on it. Luna looked flustered, glancing at me nervously.

“What did you see?”

“Oh, nothing at all!”

“It sounded like someone was crying.”

The brief sobbing I heard was strangely familiar, which left me feeling uneasy. However, Luna kept repeating that it was nothing to worry about.

“Don’t pay any attention to it and just get some rest!”

In the end, I never learned the source of the wailing.

***

Over the past five days, I had been treated with extreme overprotection. I wasn’t allowed to leave the bed, not even for a single step. I was so restless that I couldn’t even sleep.

“Can’t sleep?”

It was late, and I should have been asleep by now, but my eyes were still wide open.

Seeing that I had no intention of sleeping, Sionel spoke to me. He had been sitting on the couch, a dim light beside him as he worked through his paperwork. Putting down his documents, he turned to me.

“You should be tired after meeting guests during the day.”

He furrowed his handsome brow slightly as he looked at me, puzzled by my unusual behavior. I blinked at him, my gaze fixed on his face.

Sionel raised an eyebrow, clearly finding my behavior odd.

“Did something happen?”

“Why do you sit there every night?”

My question came out of nowhere.

“Why? Do you miss me?”

Sionel’s frown softened, and the corners of his lips lifted into a charming smile.

Resting his chin on one hand, he smiled lazily, as if trying to seduce me. It was a smile I especially liked.

Of course, it was the first time I had seen him smile like that since being confined here.

Seeing him smile at me now made the situation feel unreal.

“Yes, I miss you.”

When I answered smoothly, a flicker of surprise crossed Sionel’s face. He hadn’t expected me to respond so easily. But I was genuinely feeling regret.

“Since we don’t know when we’ll be separated, we might as well spend more time together.”

Love wasn’t eternal. Even though Sionel loved me now, his feelings could change at any moment. While I believed in his current love, I didn’t trust it to last forever.

However, Sionel seemed to misunderstand the meaning behind my words, and his response was sharp.

“Don’t say such pointless things. We’ll never be separated. I’ll make sure you recover.”

“I’m not going to recover.”

I had never been sick in the first place, so there was nothing to recover from. My grumpy reply left Sionel silent for a moment.

He got up from the couch and walked over to my bed. His footsteps were soft in the dimly lit room, the quiet sound filling the air.

Standing beside the bed, Sionel leaned down and looked at me. In the darkness, his face was slightly blurred, but I could still make out his expression.

“I’ll ask you again. Did something happen?”

He lightly touched my forehead with his fingertips. His smooth, cool touch felt good against my warm skin. I tended to run hot, so his cool hand was soothing.

Feeling a little better, I decided to address what had been bothering me since earlier that day.

“I heard you’re searching for the black priest. They said you sent Captain Schrein to lead the search.”

“They told you that, did they? Yes, he’s the most suitable for the task.”

“The Imperial Guard’s duty is to protect Your Majesty. It’s not right to send them away for something like this.”

Sionel’s position was secure now. There were no more enemies. Although he had claimed the throne through bloodshed, he had become a wise ruler.

He had earned the love of the people and the trust of the nobles. But no matter how secure things seemed, there was always the chance of something unexpected happening.

The Imperial Guard existed to protect the emperor from such uncertainties.

That’s why I couldn’t stand the thought of dividing the guard’s strength because of me.

More than anything, I hated being a burden to him.

“Are you worried about me?”

“Of course I am.”

Sionel continued to gently trace my forehead with his fingertips. He leaned closer to me, his face becoming clearer in the darkness.

He looked at me with an unreadable expression.

“Why?”

“Have you already forgotten? I was Your Majesty’s knight. In fact, I was the deputy captain of the Imperial Guard.”

“I’m asking about another reason.”

Sionel whispered softly. His voice was like a murmur in a dream, so gentle it made my heart flutter.

“Why do you love me?”

“Because you’re handsome,” I answered without hesitation, with all the conviction in my heart. My reason for loving him had always been clear.

“……”

Sionel’s brow furrowed, clearly displeased with my answer. I couldn’t help but chuckle at his expression.

Seeing his sulky face made my previously gloomy mood a little lighter.

“There are plenty of handsome men around here.”

“But none of them are as handsome as you.”

Sionel seemed unsure whether to be pleased or annoyed by my response. I had always thought he was an expressionless person, but lately, he had shown so many different sides of himself that it felt like I was seeing someone new.

“Is that really the only reason?”

“What answer were you hoping for?”

“Never mind.”

He still looked sulky, but I found him irresistibly adorable.

“At first, I was drawn to you because you seemed so alone, just like me. Then, at some point, I just started liking you. I don’t even know why. They say it’s scary when you fall in love without knowing the reason, and I think that’s true. I like you so much, and I don’t even know why.”

Sionel didn’t respond. He twirled a lock of my hair between his fingers, pretending not to have heard me. His avoidance was both irritating and endearing.

“So, what about you? When did you suddenly start liking me?”

“I don’t know.”

“You won’t tell me?”

Even when I pouted and complained, he still refused to give me an answer. He hadn’t changed at all from his annoying, stubborn childhood self.

“Do you believe what the priest said?”

“What do you mean?”

“That my soul is twisted.”

Sionel’s eyes darkened. He stopped playing with my hair and gazed deeply into my eyes.

We were so close, and the world around us was so quiet. The darkness of the night had a way of making even the simplest things feel special.

Just like this moment.

“My soul is fine. Even if we find the black priest, he’ll just say the same thing.”

“I know.”

“You don’t believe me.”

“I do.”

Sionel’s voice was low and unhurried. It had a calming effect, making me feel drowsy. Surrounded by the warmth of the bed and the coolness of his touch, my eyelids grew heavy.

“Because it’s you who’s saying it.”

“Since when did you know how to say things like that?”

He laughed softly. The atmosphere between us was more peaceful than it had ever been. We had always lived like we were at war, but now, we were finally enjoying a quiet moment together.

“It’s not so bad.”

As my tension melted away, sleep began to overtake me. My mind grew hazy, and his voice became distant.

Just before I drifted off, I heard him whisper something softly.

But I couldn’t catch the words as I fell asleep.

“It wasn’t sudden. I’ve always loved you. I loved you first.”