I’m in Trouble Because The Emperor Thinks My Time is Limited - Chapter 73

“Did you think I’d be grateful for this?”

The surroundings were silent.

At this moment, not even the hum of insects could be heard. Only my voice pierced the cold night air.

Laroche continued to gaze at me with resolute eyes.

“You’re a dragon too, Lindel. Think selfishly. No, this isn’t even selfishness. I betrayed you. This is just my atonement.”

“I never wanted this kind of atonement. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything you said today. Now, go back.”

I released the grip I had on her collar, letting go as if tossing it away.

When I turned to head inside, Laroche’s shout stopped me in my tracks.

“This is the only way! Even if your wish comes true, there’s no guarantee you’ll survive! The core of your wish was different from the start!”

Her loud voice buzzed in my ears, making them ache. I didn’t want to hear any more of her words.

“Wait, Lindel!”

As I had said earlier, I never wanted this kind of atonement.

There was no reason for me to agree to such a selfish act that only served her own sense of peace.

I finally stopped in place, unable to ignore her voice calling out to me.

“Lindel—!”

“Are you so afraid of me dying?”

I turned to face Laroche, taking in her appearance. Her lips were bitten, and her face was twisted miserably.

“Is it so terrifying that you’re doing this?”

“……!”

Her clenched fists trembled. The bright moonlight illuminated her figure, making her struggle painfully obvious, yet she seemed unable to hide it.

“…Then aren’t you afraid of it?”

Her cracked voice sounded like a desperate last plea.

“It’s your life we’re talking about. How can you remain so calm?”

“Because I won’t die.”

My confident words left her face contorted. Her expression, as if holding back tears, betrayed her disbelief.

“I won’t die.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I promised. I promised I wouldn’t die. That I wouldn’t leave anyone behind. So I can’t die.”

“…….”

Laroche’s lips quivered as though searching for a reply. I waited patiently for her next words, despite her lips repeatedly opening and closing.

After a long hesitation, she finally muttered under her breath like a sigh.

“…I’m scared of you dying.”

“Because you think I’ll die because of you?”

“No.”

Her trembling voice carried a regret she couldn’t hide.

“I’m afraid of losing you too. That’s what scares me.”

‘Losing me too?’

Her words made me pause. Had she already lost someone? There was a pain in her words I couldn’t quite place.

“Laroche?”

Just then, Laroche’s body crumpled to the floor.

It was only then that I noticed something. Beneath her bowed head, her clothes were darkly stained.

Tears streamed down her pale cheeks. She was crying.

I immediately moved to approach her, but the words that spilled from her lips froze me in place.

“…I had a child.”

“A child?”

Her hunched shoulders looked frail, as though weighed down by the night itself.

“And on the day I was sealed, my child died.”

Her wounded voice confessed a pain buried deep in her past.

***

The first time I held the small egg in my arms, I couldn’t help but love it.

I was a dragon who lived alone, away from my kin. Then I met someone I loved, and together, we had a small egg.

My child. My family.

I still remember how warm it felt to hold the egg in my arms.

“When you’re born, I’ll give you the most beautiful name in the world, my dear.”

As I awaited the hatching, I went in search of my kin.

Before a dragon’s egg hatches, the elders must be visited to receive Ursilla’s blessing. It was a necessary rite to be accepted as part of the dragon kin.

But upon our arrival, I lost everything.

Sid, who always welcomed me with a kind face, wore a cold expression that day.

“Hand over the egg, Laroche.”

“What do you mean?”

“It must not be born. It will incur Ursilla’s wrath.”

The elders and the kin all sought to take my egg from me.

In the name of god, they sought to kill my child.

No explanation was given beyond the wrath of Ursilla. They simply insisted that my child must die for the future of the kin.

My beloved stood in their way and shouted to me.

“Run, Laroche!”

“But—”

“Go!”

And so, I ran.

“Protect our child, no matter what.”

I knew what would happen to him if I fled. But even so, I ran to save the life of the child in my arms.

And in doing so, I lost the one I loved.

“Catch her! Don’t let her escape!”

There was no time to grieve the loss of my beloved. I ran and ran again.

As a Black Dragon, I had always been strong in battle. But for the first time, I chose flight over fight. It was impossible to both protect my child and face them all.

Yet my clumsy escape didn’t last long.

“This is the end. Surrender the egg, and I’ll spare your life.”

“Never! This child isn’t yours to take! This is my child, mine and Luca’s!”

With the last of my strength, I fought them. As one of the strongest Black Dragons, I managed to put up a struggle.

But the outcome didn’t change.

As I lay subdued and battered, Sid spoke coldly, his words devoid of any emotion.

“How stubborn. I was willing to spare your life for old times’ sake, but you leave me no choice.”

I resisted with all my might, struggling to escape the binding circle drawn for the sealing.

Even as my skin burned and my body was torn apart by pain, I crawled toward my child.

I couldn’t lose them.

My baby, my dear baby. The child whose name I hadn’t even had the chance to call. I couldn’t let them fall into their hands.

But god…

The god I had loved so dearly abandoned us.

“ខញឥលឞឮ…”

Human sorcerers in white robes and dragon elders chanted spells, directing them at me. I could do nothing.

Through blurred vision, all I could see was the figure carrying away my egg.

“Please, please spare my child! Don’t do this!”

No matter how much I cried, no matter how far I reached, I couldn’t touch them.

And so…

I lost my child.

***

“Before I lost consciousness, I used magic to create this body. But it was so clumsy. With just this, there was nothing I could do.”

It wasn’t a long story.

There was no mention of how Laroche lived after losing her beloved family. But I could tell.

From the sorrow, anger, and despair in her eyes, I could read the story of her life.

Her gaze, filled with scars, said it all.

Pink eyes.

The previous day, I had asked why a Black Dragon like her had such pink-colored eyes.

Laroche had explained that it was a trace of her unstable mana manifesting her body.

“That’s why I need your help.”

Now I understood the desperation in the words she had always added to the end of her explanations, spoken so nonchalantly.

As I was lost in recalling the past, Laroche’s head turned toward me. The tears streaming endlessly from her eyes pained me just to look at them.

“And then I saw you.”

Her voice, swallowed by sorrow, was cracked and wounded.

“Before I appeared before you, I had watched you for much longer than you might think. Seeing you grow as nothing more than a human, I resolved to use you.”

Her hand tore at her chest, as if she wanted to rip out her heart. The violent gesture spoke of her regret without the need for words.

“But then you were so kind. You kept worrying about me, kept approaching me…”

“……”

“Do you know why I’m truly terrible? Even then, I thought of my dead child when I looked at you. If my child had lived, they would have grown this much. They would have grown to be this kind, this beautiful.”

Laroche said that even at that moment, she thought of her child, not me. Her face bore the guilt of someone who felt that thought was a sin.

I slowly walked toward her, kneeling before me.

“That was all I could think about!”

“……”

“So, please, please…”

Her trembling hands came together in front of me, as if in prayer.

“Hate me, Lindel. Don’t forgive me, I beg you.”

She wept bitterly, pleading for me to hate her, for me not to forgive her.

How could I hate someone like you?

This clumsy soul, unable even to be entirely wicked, was so pitiable that I couldn’t help but spread my arms and pull her small, fragile shoulders into an embrace.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, it’s my fault…!”

Her collapsing body felt as though it might shatter at any moment.

After a long silence, I finally opened my mouth cautiously.

Even my voice trembled pitifully, like Laroche’s.

“You must have wanted to hold them like this…”

“……!”

The back I held stiffened.

It was hard to tell if it was because she feared what I would say next or because she was trying to suppress her sobs.

“You must have wanted to show them the world, to share the brightest moments of all time.”

A sob she couldn’t hold back slipped out. Her breaths came in shallow gasps.

Instead of soothing her, I tightened my arms around her.

“But if it were me. If it were me, Laroche…”

“Don’t do this. Don’t say it, Lindel.”

“If I were your child—”

“Lindel, please…!”

As if knowing what I was about to say, Laroche desperately clung to my arms, trying to stop me.

Even so, I couldn’t stop myself.

“They would have wanted you to live.”

Her suppressed sobs finally burst out in my arms.

“They would have wanted you to be happy.”

“How could I? How could I possibly? What right do I have…?”

“Because, like I do, your child surely loved you too.”

Her voice, crying out like a child, was heartbreaking.

Despite her desperate sobs, there wasn’t much I could do.

I could only hold her fragile body tighter, hoping that a little of my warmth might reach her in the cold night air.